Friday, September 5, 2008

What Life is for me.

It was all on a sudden at 2.30 in the morning,last Monday I felt something irritating in my body, and I was totally shocked to see my left side as a whole from head to my feet,was frigid unable to move, even my finger. A burning sensation there inside my head. A wave of fear like a strand of lightning passed through my spines, causing a tremor. I thought I had got my left side paralysed and tried to move my fingers, hand, legs as a whole, and slowly got up from my bed, contemplating what had happened to me then.

Regaining the mobility, I had a feeling of acute fear. So far I was never bothered about my self and my health. On the contrary, I was more concerned about others. I was a hopeless man, who never had brimming ambitions. I never dreamt of six figure salaries, glittering edifice, Hovering odd branded cars, nothing. Who lived these thirty years like an old man, satisfying my needs on what I get. When I listened my friends' stories who draws six figure salaries, I contented my self with my four digit salary. When they talked about racing cars and trendy bikes I loved to walk my ways. And It seemed to me like life is nothing but a mere cycle of repetitions and even death seemed to be nothing other than a part of that cycle, and I thought like "if death knocks at my door for me, I would be happy, to come with you"

But it changed abruptly on that night. The gravity of responsibilities, churned my heart. Ailing father and mother. That was my concern. Who will look after them if I am bed ridden..? My father , whose hands once I relied for holding, to not fall, holds my hand now for to not fall. I grasp his hands to make him walk firmly, as he is a paralysed man.

And what will be my plight, none to look after, and none to take care other than my mother, and after they pass away a blank...... Friends may visit you for two days, at the maximum one month.. and there will be no one. And if your parents are gone, nobody is going to take care of you as long as you are alone.

At this point only I just wanted to live my life, as long as my parents are alive, to look after them. To fulfill their needs. And I thank for that bad feeling that captured me on that day

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